tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51904946442799753572024-03-13T23:30:43.014-07:00Big HE little meJon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.comBlogger86125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-22559049776054827352012-04-14T14:26:00.008-07:002013-01-15T07:00:48.430-08:00Gotye is tasty like applesauce and peaches<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8jRLGa2Ghts/T4nsI3Sek6I/AAAAAAAAAkk/NoJLaWyWpz8/s1600/xwouter.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 298px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8jRLGa2Ghts/T4nsI3Sek6I/AAAAAAAAAkk/NoJLaWyWpz8/s400/xwouter.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5731371637830226850" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>Gotye is tasty like applesauce and peaches</strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>S</strong>eriously…when you are compelled to write about some new musical artist, that has to be your first sign that said musician is quite good. For I don’t think, nay, I am certain that I would not undertake to sift precious time away from toiling at my prodigious novel to tell you about some dude across the pond unless the “Dude across the pond” was really really good. <br /><br />Gotye is the name ladies and germs. Remember it well for I dare say it will bode nicely atop your mouth-watering <em>new-artist </em>shelf.<br /><br />From here, I will try to be brief.<br /><br />Great music plus great voice equals Gotye! He is an avid gatherer of odd noises and deep seeker of bizarre things to whack at with a pair of drum sticks. Gotye also can warble his butt off (He sounds like Sting and looks like his illegitimate son….no lie) <br />If you like odd music, neat sounds, sonic poetry, cool lyrics, something real and fresh and new, The Police and dudes that favor Gordon Sumner than look no further than Gotye. Pronounced (go tea YAY)<br /><br />Best songs in my opinion would be: <br />Somebody that I used to know<br />Thanks for your time<br />State of the art<br />Easy way out<br />Eyes wide open<br />Save me<br />I feel better<br /><br />Gotye is definitely worth thirty minutes of your time. Give him a try. Also, as of right now, his song, “Somebody that I used to know” is number 5 on the Billboard Top 100 list. That equates to a smash hit!<br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>Goatteeyay </em>Slone<br /><br /><br /><em>Fuh-realz,</em> this guy really <em>does </em>look like Sting!<br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fTQ_zIM6g0A/T4nsPXxVESI/AAAAAAAAAkw/QIeUDYRz8GE/s1600/vwwtrt.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fTQ_zIM6g0A/T4nsPXxVESI/AAAAAAAAAkw/QIeUDYRz8GE/s400/vwwtrt.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5731371749628776738" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><em>...did you think I was kidding?</em>Jon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-37632941080997774932012-03-09T11:18:00.012-08:002012-03-10T06:53:11.859-08:00Yeah, we got'em! (you get the L!)<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XlXtQvWmB5s/T1tqUiOK45I/AAAAAAAAAkY/146PaHHlUUM/s1600/cool%2By.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 318px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XlXtQvWmB5s/T1tqUiOK45I/AAAAAAAAAkY/146PaHHlUUM/s400/cool%2By.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5718281052893143954" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>Yeah, we got’em! (you get the L!)</strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>W</strong>e had a Sheppard who could leap for days and days!<br />We had a Meeks servin’ J’s & Trey’s on trays! <br />We were born to shine<br />You were poised for pine.<br />We hangin’ banners like its wash on a clothes line!<br />We droppin’ three’s good and plenty, rockin’ Rims like Kenny.<br />We got the jets in our bounce like our name was <em>Bennie </em><br /><br />We got the best fans ever in every pew. <br />The BBN is in your house and it’s packed with blue!<br />The throng is strong yo, the crew’s sensational!<br />Cat-lanta, the Maui Invitational! <br /><br />You go against Kentucky and it’s an Aft-Climb! <br />You’re dead and buried and it ain’t even half-time!<br />So hang anutha blood-letting in the win column.<br />If yer lookin’ for the team with the most, <em>yeah we got’em!</em> <br /><br /><br />We in your brain ‘til it wanes and waxes numb.<br />Your little team is tucked under Kentucky’s thumb!<br />We was kickin’ and clawin’ and ballin’ at birth!<br />Now we’re all-in like a flood that blankets the earth!<br />If this world is a stage then Rupp is the best!<br /><em>We gonna see which posse can dance the best!</em><br />We droppin’ wins like our fingers were covered in grease.<br />The Godfather of the game and you’re just the niece!<br />Our fate is eight and then it’s nine while you rock the bottom.<br />If you wanna see stars in the light, <em>yeah we got’em!</em><br /><br /><br />We had a Kevin Grevey and a Cotton Nash.<br />And a Winston Bennett and a Monster Mash!<br /><br />We had a Jorts and a Jones and a Dirk and Mills.<br />We had a Prince and a Knight and a King for realz.<br />And a Tony and a Walt and a Derek and Toine. <br />And a Nazr and a Mark, Jeff, Wayne and Ron!<br /><br />It’s like this ya’ll<br />It’s like that ya’ll<br />We had an Issel for a Pistol and a Pratt ya’ll!<br />It’s like that ya’ll<br />It’s like this ya’ll<br />We had a Rex and he was King and he could ball ya’ll!<br /><br />We got the Goose<br />We got the Wall <br />We’re Unforgettable.<br />You’re not at all! <br />We’re getting’ eight<br />Then getting’ nine!<br />We push ahead<br />You lag behind.<br /><br />We got the Davis<br />And Michael Kidd<br />We on a run boy<br />You on a skid!<br />We got the Darius<br />He’s gonna carry us!<br />We got the Teague<br />Best in the League!<br />We got the Three Goggs<br />We got the Kyle<br /><em>They tickle twine so much it makes the rim smile!</em><br /><br />We’re getting’ eight<br />Then getting’ nine!<br />We push ahead<br />You lag behind!<br />We are the mist<br />That drives the nail. <br />You come to Rupp<br /><em>You get the L! </em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>8</em> Slone <br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NMonEKpB4Og/T1pZikSBRqI/AAAAAAAAAkA/4hpqzHHXNr8/s1600/barf%2Byo.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 364px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NMonEKpB4Og/T1pZikSBRqI/AAAAAAAAAkA/4hpqzHHXNr8/s400/barf%2Byo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5717981127289947810" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Wq1MkVElr04/T1pZYJuuJGI/AAAAAAAAAj0/SjHRIMiXmDE/s1600/ukcrack.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 259px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Wq1MkVElr04/T1pZYJuuJGI/AAAAAAAAAj0/SjHRIMiXmDE/s320/ukcrack.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5717980948363879522" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SfoiQ0LHlTw/T1pZMVZIuiI/AAAAAAAAAjo/9T1rX_ZNGBI/s1600/abcoold.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 210px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SfoiQ0LHlTw/T1pZMVZIuiI/AAAAAAAAAjo/9T1rX_ZNGBI/s320/abcoold.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5717980745336142370" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6BOB7lowCHc/T1tqOK_kT4I/AAAAAAAAAkM/-8zG4ax0yO0/s1600/cool%2Br.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6BOB7lowCHc/T1tqOK_kT4I/AAAAAAAAAkM/-8zG4ax0yO0/s400/cool%2Br.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5718280943578664834" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9Ew8Mh3oTmI/T1pZFTABfEI/AAAAAAAAAjc/EsZ3-mru7GQ/s1600/yeah%2Bbaby%2B7.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 318px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9Ew8Mh3oTmI/T1pZFTABfEI/AAAAAAAAAjc/EsZ3-mru7GQ/s400/yeah%2Bbaby%2B7.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5717980624434854978" /></a>Jon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-42767298367180328202012-03-05T09:13:00.002-08:002013-01-15T07:14:58.847-08:00Peter Von Stephen McPrune<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oAy9A-9ur64/T1T0T-CuqUI/AAAAAAAAAjQ/P801OOSvzWs/s1600/zrestr.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 281px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oAy9A-9ur64/T1T0T-CuqUI/AAAAAAAAAjQ/P801OOSvzWs/s400/zrestr.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5716462450949138754" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>Peter Von Stephen McPrune</strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><em><strong>T</strong>o sup with Peter Von Stephen McPrune.<br />Is something you won’t forget any time soon!<br />For dinning, according to one Mr. Stephen,<br />Is a maze where the meal has to balance out even.</em><br /><br />And there has to be something on his plate that’s white.<br />And there has to be drink for his very last bite.<br />And his Waldorf salad can never be dry.<br />And his tuna can never be cooped up on rye.<br />And he has to have garden-fresh, hot-house tomatoes.<br />And his carrots can never touch his peas or potatoes.<br />And his top-ranking starch has to sit there and fast.<br />Cause Prune doesn’t spoon up that starch until last!<br /><br /><em>To sup with Peter Von Stephen McPrune.<br />Is something you won’t forget any time soon!<br />For dinning, according to one Mr. Stephen,<br />Is a maze where the meal has to balance out even. </em> He nibbles some noodle. He pulls at some pork.<br />He props-up some peas on his platinum fork. <br />He pinches off pieces of Pennyworth Ham.<br />Then he lathers his biscuit in Bawberry Jam.<br />He gobbles some Chokecherry Tart with a grin.<br />Then a peck of potato-cake finds its way in.<br /><br />But what if his food found a mind of its own?<br />And a small piece of pork, were there not on the bone.<br />And the ice cream’s ah plenty with a shortage of cone.<br />And the butter’s in bloom but there’s scarcely a scone.<br /><br />And there’s two little peas next to ten little beans.<br />And there’s hardly no ham and he’s scarfed-up his greens.<br /><br />And there’s leftover lobster but he’s lacking in leek.<br />And the taters are waning from his Bubble and Squeak.<br /><br />And there’s no more Jam, save a wee bit of Jelly.<br />And his soup has all sunk to the foot of his belly. <br /> <br /><br />What then, what then, oh my, <em>what then?</em><br />What a pickle poor Pete would find himself in! <br /><br /><br /><em>To sup with Peter Von Stephen McPrune.<br />Is something you won’t forget any time soon!<br />For dinning, according to one Mr. Stephen,<br />Is a maze where the meal has to balance out even.</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>HBM</em> SloneJon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-5377975168151114492012-02-28T21:00:00.003-08:002012-02-28T21:06:11.370-08:00Harry's Teeth<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NQ2fSndGIaM/T02xLWPU0uI/AAAAAAAAAjE/BS9cUUDcQf0/s1600/xhnteeth.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 354px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NQ2fSndGIaM/T02xLWPU0uI/AAAAAAAAAjE/BS9cUUDcQf0/s400/xhnteeth.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5714418310709564130" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>Harry’s Teeth </strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>M</strong>y sis got his tresses in no small measure!<br />And the outright propensity for finding lost treasure.<br />And Keith got the Arkansas Toothpick and sheath.<br />And all that I got was my Dad’s crooked teeth!<br /><br />And Scott got the gift of gab from my father.<br />And Trent got the bent to be quite the big bother.<br />And Ben got his voice<br />So he sits and he swings.<br />And he sings with his shiny wooden box strung with strings.<br />And Jim got his hops.<br />Or some call it ups.<br />And Mike got his case of collapsible cups.<br />And Jill got his smile.<br />And the smarts went to Heath.<br />And all that I got was my Dad’s crooked teeth!<br /><br /><br /><em>Say what?</em><br /><br /><br />You’re curious to know what they look like for real?!<br />Okay, but you gotta like promise not to squeal!<br /><br />Some have a point<br />And some are quite blunt.<br />And some face sideways<br />And some face front.<br />And some like to fester and some like to smother.<br />And some in one section are <em>stacked </em>on each other.<br />And one tooth on top likes to stick out real good.<br />And there’s one that’s so brown that you’d swear it was wood! <br /><br /><br /><em>Yeah, tell me about it!</em><br /><br /><br />I could have been blessed, as was Courtney or Keith.<br />But instead, for my turn, someone gave me these teeth! <br /><br /><br />Harry’s Teeth.<br />Dad’s teeth.<br />Gross and <em>eee gads </em>teeth!<br /><br />Busted-up choppers with hope headin’ south.<br />Cause it looks like a pipe bomb went off in my mouth!<br /><br /><br />I swear on a carrot with coins underneath.<br />May you never inherit a bunch of these teeth! <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>Meandmyarrow</em> SloneJon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-81092014106546876672012-02-23T11:19:00.006-08:002012-02-23T11:22:39.780-08:00Pamela Toad<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2ZP9TXFqq1Q/T0aRaM6IFTI/AAAAAAAAAi4/r3iq3b8ioZ0/s1600/xpc.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 270px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2ZP9TXFqq1Q/T0aRaM6IFTI/AAAAAAAAAi4/r3iq3b8ioZ0/s400/xpc.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5712413056693703986" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>Pamela Toad</strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>D</strong>on’t take from that Pam, not even a suture.<br />Cause Pam’s gonna want something for it in the future!<br /><br />She’ll show you a smile.<br />And clothe you a while.<br />Then sit for a season to simmer and smolder.<br /><br />Cause Pam’s pretty favors wear invisible tags.<br />And the tags tote prices too heavy to shoulder.<br /><br />So don’t need a nickel near Pamela Toad.<br />Cause Pam’s gonna take way more down the road!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>metoneonce </em>SloneJon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-77152702164828360992012-02-21T11:35:00.005-08:002012-02-21T11:43:25.160-08:00fun. is fun!<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BOMgUMrNRUE/T0PyOKVDhHI/AAAAAAAAAig/n5Ugae4WscM/s1600/xfbb.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BOMgUMrNRUE/T0PyOKVDhHI/AAAAAAAAAig/n5Ugae4WscM/s400/xfbb.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5711675077540676722" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>fun. is <em>fun</em>!</strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>I</strong> just discovered the band, <em>fun.</em> less than twenty four hours ago. They are so refreshingly wonderful that I was compelled to write about them straightaway. <br /><br />All of the musicians (3) are tops in their field and played prominent roles in the three disbanded groups from whence they came. In that regard, they’re like a super-group.<br />The lead singer (Nate Ruess) is the best. He sings not only through the roof, but through the first layer of low-lying clouds what scoot in constantly to hear this man croon. Their arrangements and overall sound are like a croissant, <em>endless peels of sonic nourishment and then some.</em> <br /><br />My favorite songs are, <em>Some Nights, We are young, Why am I the one, All alone, Stars, Walking the Dog</em> and <em>All the pretty girls</em>. The last two songs are from their first album, <em>Aim and Ignite</em>. The others are fresh from their new release, <em>Some Nights</em>, which just became available for purchase today. <br /><br />Something about their music makes my insides feel like they’re sliding down a Skittles Rainbow whilst eating Turkish Delight and watching <em>Picture Pages </em>on the Telly! <br /><br />Is that a bad thing?<br /><br /><br />Bottom line: fun. Is <em>FUN!</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>fun-liker </em>Slone<br /><br /><br /><br />fun.<br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SSkZIw0DQ6E/T0PyU6VyrXI/AAAAAAAAAis/dF-gqv5cy-w/s1600/xfun.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SSkZIw0DQ6E/T0PyU6VyrXI/AAAAAAAAAis/dF-gqv5cy-w/s320/xfun.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5711675193507884402" /></a>Jon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-85027050978612779852012-02-17T07:49:00.004-08:002012-02-17T07:53:15.586-08:00One Dumb Page<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rihKZANO46U/Tz53NVA1LCI/AAAAAAAAAiU/DDllZdj6Ch0/s1600/xgdp.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rihKZANO46U/Tz53NVA1LCI/AAAAAAAAAiU/DDllZdj6Ch0/s400/xgdp.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5710132448415001634" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>One Dumb Page</strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>S</strong>omething is wrong with a page in my book.<br />It’s page 99 if you wanna take a look.<br />It might be the flu or its stomach’s upset.<br />But the page isn’t hard and the words are still wet!<br /><br />I looked a bit closer<br />I was paper to chin.<br />Then I lost my darn footing and I fell right in!<br /><br />The book was real good<br />I liked that <em>Corey</em>.<br />And <em>Lori </em>who lived in the town <em>Hunky Dorey</em>.<br />The dialogue was sweet<br />It was gruesome and gory.<br /><em>Then one dumb page went and ruined the story!</em><br /><br />I’m stuck in this book!<br />It’s a thick paper cage!<br /><br />Maybe you’ll see me when you turn the page.<br /><br />A word to the wise<br />For those I’ve not met.<br />Stay back a safe ways<br />If the words are still wet!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>Still-In </em>SloneJon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-12521360339585624422012-02-13T16:48:00.004-08:002012-02-13T16:53:33.423-08:00Redundancy<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2KhizyhoRcI/TzmvgsaPNxI/AAAAAAAAAiI/oNDB0Plb-Ns/s1600/xwhut%2By.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2KhizyhoRcI/TzmvgsaPNxI/AAAAAAAAAiI/oNDB0Plb-Ns/s400/xwhut%2By.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5708786978880698130" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>Redundancy</strong> <br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>K</strong>ratticus Cutpurse had a very odd handle.<br />And he lumbered through life wearing only one sandal.<br />And was known about town as a bit of a vandal.<br />And he scribed his tall-tales neath a flicker-less candle. <br /><br />Kratticus Cutpurse had a name that couldn’t worsen. <br />And he trudged with one shoe on his poorly-shod person. <br />And the scuttlebutt labeled Mr. Cutpurse, a crook.<br />And in darkness he penned his perpendings for a book. <br /><br />Kratticus Cutpurse had a strange appellation.<br />And he lived on one loafer due to heavy inflation.<br />And he burgled so often that they all called him Snatches.<br />And he scored in the shadows cause he couldn’t afford matches. <br /><br />This feller had a name that most people would butcher.<br />To boot, this here quack only laced up one clog.<br />And in times of great lack this boy’s bent was to borrow.<br />And he laid forth his thoughts in the pitch of north Prague. <br /><br />Weird name, weird name, whatcha gonna do?<br />Like, why the long face, Mr. One Shoe, One Shoe?<br />You be a pick-pocket-pro, be a pro, bro…<br />Maybe you should go write your stories in the snow though.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>K.C.</em> SloneJon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-46380973831312970322012-02-10T08:30:00.001-08:002012-02-16T14:27:50.333-08:00Smelt TheBud LongDrink's Top 100 Movies Of All Time<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-95Pq-qy1sxs/TzVGZiLcwYI/AAAAAAAAAgo/7xX2_N_DAPs/s1600/xhurt%2B2.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-95Pq-qy1sxs/TzVGZiLcwYI/AAAAAAAAAgo/7xX2_N_DAPs/s400/xhurt%2B2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707545507247473026" /></a><br /><br /><br /><strong>Smelt <em>TheBud </em>LongDrink's Top 100 Movies Of All Time</strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>Y</strong>ou guys have suffered long enough. And now, the wait is finally over. Here are my top 100 movies of all time! Enjoy and drop me some thoughts on the subject.<br /><br />Also, I believe there was some confusion with my last post. I wasn’t listing some of my favorite movies….I was posting some of my favorite frames or frozen stills from movies, literally just a photograph that by itself inspired me, a frozen moment in celluloid time that rocks me to the core. For instance, ET. I don’t like that movie at all. But that image of the bike and the boy and the moon…..awesome. Go back and look at that post again. <br /><br /><br /><br />1. The Count of Monte Cristo<br />2. Star Wars (1977)<br />3. Stardust<br />4. Bridge to Terabithia <br />5. Almost Famous<br />6. The Shawshank Redemption<br />7. Limitless<br />8. The Game<br />9. Cold Mountain<br />10. Pulp Fiction <br />11. Road to Perdition<br />12. The Negotiator <br />13. Se7en<br />14. Casino Royale<br />15. Empire Strikes Back<br />16. Superman (1978)<br />17. The Princess Bride<br />18. 16 Blocks<br />19. The Matrix<br />20. Raiders of the Lost Ark<br />21. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory<br />22. Good Will Hunting<br />23. American Werewolf in London<br />24. A Knight’s Tale<br />25. Disney’s Peter Pan<br />26. 3:10 to Yuma<br />27. Rocky<br />28. Young Frankenstein<br />29. Shaun of the Dead<br />30. Signs<br />31. Open Range <br />32. Ravenous <br />33. The Fugitive<br />34. Jurassic Park<br />35. Juno <br />36. Wolf<br />37. Breakdown<br />38. Taken<br />39. Shooter<br />40. Dreamcatcher<br />41. Goodfellas<br />42. Planes, Trains and Automobiles <br />43. L. A. Confidential <br />44. A Simple Plan<br />45. A Time to Kill<br />46. The Neverending Story<br />47. Once<br />48. Groundhog Day<br />49. The Goonies <br />50. In The Line of Fire<br />51. Narrow Margin<br />52. The Silence of the Lambs<br />53. Braveheart<br />54. The Hunted<br />55. Les Miserables<br />56. Death Sentence<br />57. First Blood<br />58. The Vanishing<br />59. Rob Roy<br />60. About Schmidt<br />61. Excalibur<br />62. Leon the Professional <br />63. The Natural<br />64. Deliverance<br />65. The Boondock Saints<br />66. That Thing You Do<br />67. Cinderella Man<br />68. Iron Man<br />69. Jaws <br />70. The Village <br />71. The Prestige<br />72. Kiss the Girls<br />73. Wrong Turn <br />74. Silver Streak<br />75. Romancing the Stone<br />76. The Departed <br />77. For your eyes only<br />78. School of Rock<br />79. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo<br />80. A Series of Unfortunate Events<br />81. Sense and Sensibility <br />82. Pineapple Express<br />83. Saw<br />84. Disney’s The Jungle Book<br />85. Dazed and Confused<br />86. Fargo<br />87. The Hangover<br />88. Meet Joe Black<br />89. Castaway<br />90. Sideways<br />91. Bourne Identity<br />92. Quest for fire<br />93. Secretariat<br />94. Gangs of New York <br />95. Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium<br />96. Wizard of OZ<br />97. Cop Land<br />98. Employee of the month<br />99. Zorro the Gay Blade <br />100. The Passion of the Christ<br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>Movie-Maven </em>Slone<br /><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZkCp6dmmOfE/TzVHWcHQDkI/AAAAAAAAAh8/SmxrBCk8hCo/s1600/kwool.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 205px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZkCp6dmmOfE/TzVHWcHQDkI/AAAAAAAAAh8/SmxrBCk8hCo/s320/kwool.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707546553591270978" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VKCB3I45nuE/TzVHPEaPtEI/AAAAAAAAAhw/A90R6D2bla0/s1600/bat%2Bu%2Bu.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 209px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VKCB3I45nuE/TzVHPEaPtEI/AAAAAAAAAhw/A90R6D2bla0/s320/bat%2Bu%2Bu.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707546426969404482" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sLA-ypaAIwM/TzVHEv8SygI/AAAAAAAAAhk/ZddYSLn5Y2k/s1600/xhurt.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sLA-ypaAIwM/TzVHEv8SygI/AAAAAAAAAhk/ZddYSLn5Y2k/s320/xhurt.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707546249676376578" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MC_QWCafaJs/TzVG7_JgW-I/AAAAAAAAAhY/p-J9U8ThzzM/s1600/awzzzz.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MC_QWCafaJs/TzVG7_JgW-I/AAAAAAAAAhY/p-J9U8ThzzM/s320/awzzzz.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707546099139501026" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_O9w4r4vfB0/TzVGzrDm-RI/AAAAAAAAAhM/ub15UQ79uEc/s1600/abzzxml.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 268px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_O9w4r4vfB0/TzVGzrDm-RI/AAAAAAAAAhM/ub15UQ79uEc/s400/abzzxml.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707545956307106066" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_lK9eET9_Xg/TzVGpEiyTXI/AAAAAAAAAhA/4NpQD5EBkNE/s1600/abcdlas.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 217px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_lK9eET9_Xg/TzVGpEiyTXI/AAAAAAAAAhA/4NpQD5EBkNE/s320/abcdlas.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707545774170197362" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FU-LgffJ8EA/TzVGhhK0F8I/AAAAAAAAAg0/D0eAv8a7xys/s1600/ab%2Ba.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 225px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FU-LgffJ8EA/TzVGhhK0F8I/AAAAAAAAAg0/D0eAv8a7xys/s320/ab%2Ba.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707545644415326146" /></a>Jon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-80014534551170749812012-02-09T18:18:00.000-08:002012-02-09T18:51:38.555-08:00Fourteen thousand words<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5CUMjFkq8Ks/TzR-zesj3CI/AAAAAAAAAeA/ObvzY0iRlqM/s1600/ab%2Bdad.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5CUMjFkq8Ks/TzR-zesj3CI/AAAAAAAAAeA/ObvzY0iRlqM/s400/ab%2Bdad.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707326050663652386" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>Fourteen thousand words </strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>I</strong> am very <em>at home </em>in a movie theatre. I am a very visual person. Combine those two things with the old adage, “A picture’s worth a thousand words,” and you will appreciate the rationale behind this post. <br /><br />Here are some of my favorite images from movies and television. Pictures that blew me away, fanned into flames, my creativity and had an overall <em>lasting </em>influence on my life. <br /> <br />If I had to pick a favorite, I would probably go with Mr. Jones being chased by a bolder. How can you beat that timeless portrait.<br /><br />Enjoy!<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JuZPOCHycF4/TzSAoID1w_I/AAAAAAAAAgc/oy0xKnh1QL4/s1600/awesome%2Bt.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 211px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JuZPOCHycF4/TzSAoID1w_I/AAAAAAAAAgc/oy0xKnh1QL4/s320/awesome%2Bt.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707328054631973874" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-77qWUgb2ntY/TzSAful2lvI/AAAAAAAAAgQ/lCEqwDUzHr0/s1600/xcdf.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 211px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-77qWUgb2ntY/TzSAful2lvI/AAAAAAAAAgQ/lCEqwDUzHr0/s320/xcdf.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707327910356358898" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cjd8m8V1sOY/TzSAXqrhuFI/AAAAAAAAAgE/YnYP9aRiYGY/s1600/jaws.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 244px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cjd8m8V1sOY/TzSAXqrhuFI/AAAAAAAAAgE/YnYP9aRiYGY/s320/jaws.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707327771867461714" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rCsosZhVjZg/TzSAOG8xX0I/AAAAAAAAAf4/gUrMTiTUnt4/s1600/crazy%2Bcol.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 212px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rCsosZhVjZg/TzSAOG8xX0I/AAAAAAAAAf4/gUrMTiTUnt4/s320/crazy%2Bcol.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707327607657291586" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cQi_EtG1Hjc/TzSACP2mazI/AAAAAAAAAfs/kCPxv9ybzPw/s1600/alaguhlope.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 208px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cQi_EtG1Hjc/TzSACP2mazI/AAAAAAAAAfs/kCPxv9ybzPw/s320/alaguhlope.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707327403888896818" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tCpEtzjkrsw/TzR_1lptx2I/AAAAAAAAAfg/Foc3p9QfBrw/s1600/abvmadddddh.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 215px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tCpEtzjkrsw/TzR_1lptx2I/AAAAAAAAAfg/Foc3p9QfBrw/s320/abvmadddddh.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707327186402133858" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dTOifYF8I6I/TzR_nhnK6eI/AAAAAAAAAfU/-v7OHwnGf70/s1600/ab%2Bbzrr.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dTOifYF8I6I/TzR_nhnK6eI/AAAAAAAAAfU/-v7OHwnGf70/s320/ab%2Bbzrr.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707326944799549922" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ndsM0G0JJ54/TzR_iBIWY6I/AAAAAAAAAfI/yc3M0IfngjQ/s1600/ab%2Bbzbb.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 256px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ndsM0G0JJ54/TzR_iBIWY6I/AAAAAAAAAfI/yc3M0IfngjQ/s320/ab%2Bbzbb.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707326850180998050" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mbEi3a-Sk_M/TzR_cs4xezI/AAAAAAAAAe8/vtstB8u8yKk/s1600/ab%2Bbacc.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mbEi3a-Sk_M/TzR_cs4xezI/AAAAAAAAAe8/vtstB8u8yKk/s320/ab%2Bbacc.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707326758847609650" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uRdvGYf267M/TzR_WRBy8BI/AAAAAAAAAew/neo5YYSCz00/s1600/ab%2Babzzzz.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 172px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uRdvGYf267M/TzR_WRBy8BI/AAAAAAAAAew/neo5YYSCz00/s400/ab%2Babzzzz.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707326648290045970" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6pnUznG9MgQ/TzR_PZx2AuI/AAAAAAAAAek/p0osU7sXMY4/s1600/ab%2Babzzz.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 200px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6pnUznG9MgQ/TzR_PZx2AuI/AAAAAAAAAek/p0osU7sXMY4/s320/ab%2Babzzz.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707326530379973346" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--zBKgOgLXCQ/TzR_Gv0Rb8I/AAAAAAAAAeY/4lAXGZaKua8/s1600/ab%2Babzz.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 218px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--zBKgOgLXCQ/TzR_Gv0Rb8I/AAAAAAAAAeY/4lAXGZaKua8/s320/ab%2Babzz.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707326381676916674" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vtfbGZHACRY/TzR-62a5SuI/AAAAAAAAAeM/lpTDJs1BLfs/s1600/ab%2Babtth.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 237px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vtfbGZHACRY/TzR-62a5SuI/AAAAAAAAAeM/lpTDJs1BLfs/s320/ab%2Babtth.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5707326177291094754" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>21 </em>SloneJon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-51693920299903593782012-02-03T21:03:00.001-08:002012-02-03T21:17:07.650-08:00Big Jesus, little jon, tuba player, fake blood guy<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mip76bvL5yk/Tyy8VtFGDSI/AAAAAAAAAd0/p0UOQLvAhwg/s1600/xjfellfakeb.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 270px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mip76bvL5yk/Tyy8VtFGDSI/AAAAAAAAAd0/p0UOQLvAhwg/s400/xjfellfakeb.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5705141909035814178" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>Big Jesus, little jon, tuba player, fake blood guy</strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>G</strong>rowing up, I had the honor of portraying our Lord and Savior in a great number of overgenerous productions. In four or five different churches, spanning two states, ranging from 1988 to 2005, I had the indescribably wonderful opportunity to pretend to be Jesus. <br /><br /><em>And it was awesome!</em><br /><br />Of course, it was always the most <em>challenging </em>of roles, let’s not forget that. <br /><br />Christ was, is, and will always be, perfect! In other words, there’s just no bouncing back from flubbing a line whilst expatiating the B-attitudes, or worse, forgetting a speech altogether and just standing there in a white robe looking like Helen Keller at a pep rally. <br /><br /><em>Not cool.</em><br /><br />Mostly, my fondest memories come from the times spent at Greystone Baptist Church, where I played Jesus in about five or six different productions from 1994 to 2002. <br /><br />On one such outing, maybe 1996, something almost <em>catastrophic </em>happened. Most assuredly it was hilarious. <br /><br />Here is what transpired.<br /><br />When we did these Jesus productions, they were always rendered, huge, <em>epic if you will.</em> <em>Go big or go home right.</em> That means I actually carried a life-sized cross down the aisles and up a manufactured hill. With gusto, I was whipped in more ways than can be recounted. I was kicked and beaten by these Greek dudes that were 6’4”, 6’5” and 6’6” respectively. They had to be that big because I was 6’5” and 215 pounds. If they had procured men of average stature to wail on me and whatnot, it would have appeared as if <em>The Incredible Hulk </em>was getting his butt handed to him by a bunch of <em>Herve Villechaize’s.</em> <br /><br /><em>Not cool.</em><br /><br />Not only did they bludgeon me to within an inch of my 24 years, they also pretended to nail me to the cross while I was straddled atop the splintery wood. When that <em>fun stuff </em>was done they would pick me up, cross and all, and drop me in this makeshift hole which was about two and a half feet deep. Like I said earlier, <em>we didn’t play around!</em><br /><br />So here was the problem.<br /><br />Every time we practiced this cross nailing scene, we did so under bright gymnasium lighting and without any <em>red accoutrements.</em> <br /><br />So…..<br /><br />The first night of the performance, the Roman soldiers are up there <em>fake-nailing </em>me to the tree (What I’m actually doing is clutching two spikes). Only this time, this one ambitious combatant is squirting my hands profusely with all of this fake blood.<br /><br /><em>Not cool.</em><br /><br />Now, my once was <em>sure-grip </em>is more like a goopy, squishy and slippery jumble! Worse still, its pitch black all around us. So when they go to pick me up, these numbskulls can’t find the darn hole! <br /><br /><em>Not cool.</em><br /><br />Picture the Three Stooges here.<br /><br />So there I am holding on for dear life while my cross is pitching violently like that little tug boat in the movie, <em>The Perfect Storm!</em> And adhering to those spikes, my only foot-hold as it were, are like trying to grasp hold of wet water balloons! Fake blood was oozing everywhere! <br /><br />So now I’m thinking: <em>I’m okay as long as the Romans keep me and the cross in a less than vertical position.</em> But they didn’t! In all of their nervous and sweaty consternation they had started to lean me to the fore! <br /><br /><em>Not cool.</em> <br /><br />And I was thinking: <em>Man, Sure as I’m standing here, I’m going to fall right off this thing!</em> The girl below me who was playing my Mother had eyes the size of dinner plates. She was like, <em>If Jon falls on me I’m pretty sure I’m going to die.</em> <br />With each struggling second I was entertaining a host of negative suppositions. Things like: <em>Even the people who don’t go to church regularly know that Christ didn’t fall off the cross! <br /><br />I wasn’t going to fool anyone!</em> <br /><br />Then my pessimistic musings got worse and more desperate. <br /><br /><em>What if they fling me forward so fast that I fly off the cross, sail over the stage and land in the tuba section of the orchestra? How would I explain that one?</em><br /><br /><strong>Jesus:</strong> Pardon me, could someone help me out of this here tuba, back atop the platform and up on that god-awful tree? I would be eternally grateful.<br /><br />Meanwhile, my hands, wrist, fingers and forearms were cramping and throbbing in ways I wouldn’t wish on a Democrat. I was without hope, scared to death and miserably wracked with pain! <br /><br /><em>I just knew that I was going to fall off that cross!</em><br /><br />The question remained: <em>How would I play it off?</em><br /><br />What exactly <em>is </em>one’s recourse after one has plunged from a piece of wood, killed their precious Mother and rewritten the entire Bible?<br /><br /><em>Oops?<br /><br />My bad?<br /><br />Could I just lay here and play dead on the sound stage?<br /><br />Please don’t put me back up there?</em><br /><br /><br />Fortunately for me, I didn’t have to find out! The dudes in Roman soldier attire found the black hole and dropped me in straightaway!<br /><br />Forthwith I let out this bone-chilling shriek of unadulterated distress and ineffable anguish. To the audience they were probably thinking: <em>Wow, great acting. I can really relate to his pathos!</em><br /><br />Me personally, I was just glad to be in the hole.<br /><br />I threw out a, “Forgive them Father for they know not what they do.” And the night was saved.<br /><br />The next day, we beat the <em>fake-blood-dispenser-guy </em>to death! <br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>Genesis 21:6</em> SloneJon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-17082602470995919422012-02-02T17:36:00.001-08:002012-02-02T17:43:03.042-08:00Forty-two<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vnqd3_pJRjg/Tys6R_IoRFI/AAAAAAAAAdc/sxfZwvWRNv4/s1600/xftwo.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vnqd3_pJRjg/Tys6R_IoRFI/AAAAAAAAAdc/sxfZwvWRNv4/s400/xftwo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5704717433674679378" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>Forty-two</strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone </em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><em><strong>W</strong>hat’s six times seven?</em><br />Hold up Dad I know it!<br /><em>The fat kid got it…<br />You better not blow it!</em><br />But blow it he does,<br />For little Gabe freezes. <br />And now it quite <em>stings </em>when little Gabe sneezes.<br />Cause Gabe caught a left hook, <br /><em>Right </em>to the nose!<br /><br />The backhand came<br />And crushed it like a waffle! <br />And now that Gabe hates his Dad somethin’ <em>awful!</em> <br />And the fatty known also as the <em>six times seven whiz.</em> <br /><em>Will be loathed even more than he already is.</em> <br />And the Dad went on to get saved I suppose.<br /><br />And the fat kid is me<br />Or maybe he’s you.<br />And as for that Gabe?<br />Well, he’s now <em>forty-two.</em> <br /><br />Hey, <em>that’s it! </em><br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>eweknewitwascoming</em> Slone<br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uBOxZTdOoJM/Tys6XBNqnvI/AAAAAAAAAdo/nGd6fY03Ccs/s1600/abumaemq.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uBOxZTdOoJM/Tys6XBNqnvI/AAAAAAAAAdo/nGd6fY03Ccs/s320/abumaemq.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5704717520132022002" /></a>Jon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-9202781193474302702012-02-02T06:55:00.000-08:002012-02-02T08:24:47.904-08:00Near-Future day (I love music part 3)<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-I5tq_q2Kbyw/Tyqn703ZSKI/AAAAAAAAAbk/YpoIC3fPBLk/s1600/abumaem1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 259px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-I5tq_q2Kbyw/Tyqn703ZSKI/AAAAAAAAAbk/YpoIC3fPBLk/s400/abumaem1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5704556524263262370" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>Near-Future Day (I love music part 3)</strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>S</strong>o I said in a post back on November fifth, that I would talk more about music in the near future. Guess what, today is, <em>Near-Future Day!</em><br /><br />With regards to musical groups and/or solo artists, here are my top-ten of all time, in order, from ten to one, also a small bit of comment to go along:<br /><br /><br />Dave Barnes<br />Keane<br />John Mayer<br />The Manhattan Transfer<br />The Beatles<br />James Taylor<br />Steely Dan<br />Paul McCartney<br />Chris Rice<br />Chicago<br /><br /><br /><strong>Dave Barnes:</strong> Christian artist. Great voice (Raspy, soulful). Funny guy. Super talented. Writes all of his own material. Typically plays guitar. All around great sound.<br /><br /><strong>Keane:</strong> If sad is beautiful…if melancholy makes for mind-blowing, ear-confection, then this group is who you want to figuratively snack on. If music is suppose to make you feel something, anything at all. Affect you powerfully, then this group does all of the above for me, can’t say enough praise-worthy things about them. <br /><br /><strong>John Mayer:</strong> He’s taking his first steps down a willowy swath that was blazed by a Mr. Sweet Baby James. <br /><br /><strong>The Manhattan Transfer:</strong> They sing every style imaginable and pull it off with staggering aplomb and comfortable ease. <br /><br /><strong>The Beatles:</strong> Really? You guys don’t need to hear what I think, but since you <em>are </em>combing my blog,…I grew up liking the early stuff like, “I wanna hold your hand” and “I saw her standing there.” Now, as an adult, I’m blown away by their latter body of work like, The White Album, Revolver and Abby Road. Best song writing duo ever! Genius in simplicity! Remarkable! <br /><br /><strong>James Taylor:</strong> To me, he does it all. His playing is spot-on. His arrangements and progressions on the guitar are detailed and difficult and yet he plays then with such ease as to make the listener think them simple. His voice is rainy-day-goodness! And his lyrics are pure uncut poetry! He is one of few artists that when he puts out a new CD, I first read his lyrics before hearing them set to music.<br /><br /><strong>Steely Dan:</strong> Don’t even know where to begin with these guys. Funky, cool, slick, awesome, dope, bad to the bone, dark, cryptic, JAMuhlicious, mind-numbing! If that sounds like your cup of tea, run quickly to purchase no fewer than four of their albums: Can’t buy a thrill, The Royal Scam, Aja and Gaucho. I can easily say that the best discovery I’ve made in the last ten years was finding and spending time with, “The Royal Scam!” Side note: If you love drums and bass, the very best that the 70’s and 80’s had to offer are on Dan albums! Also, the best sound-recording of their seminal work is captured here. In other words, you won’t ever hear drums and bass sound better than on a Steely Dan recording! <br /><br /><strong>Paul McCartney:</strong> The most excellent Beatle! He could have retired in 1970 and still been called one of the greatest ever. Instead, he went on to give us, “Silly Love Songs” “Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey” “Maybe I’m Amazed” “No more lonely nights” “C Moon” “My Love” “The Pound is Sinking” “Take it Away” the entire Band on the Run album….must I go on? He is literally the greatest song writer ever with over forty smash hits recorded post Beatledom…..are you frickin’ kidding me! <br /><br /><strong>Chris Rice:</strong> Christian artist. This is one of few artists that I would like to be best friends with. This guy writes stuff that makes me go, “Wow!” Great voice, great sound, retardedly deep and promethean lyrics. He once put the word Prestidigitator in a song…..nuff said! Album to buy: <em>Smell the Color Nine!</em><br /><br /><strong>Chicago:</strong> The best! Especially from 1969 to either 1978 (When Terry Kath died) or arguably 1984 (When Peter Cetera left). 25 or 6 to 4……a song about not being able to write a song………brilliant! When Terry was alive these guys could do no wrong. They were as hard as Led, as soulful as Ray, as wild as Jimi, as smooth as….uh, well……..(Something really smooth)! <br /><br />If you want to know my top 20 or top 50, just let me know. <br /><br /><br /><br /><em>Jon 25 Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fjp-NHTpccw/TyqoLmbluJI/AAAAAAAAAbw/ipC7JaRHgng/s1600/abumaemd.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 215px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fjp-NHTpccw/TyqoLmbluJI/AAAAAAAAAbw/ipC7JaRHgng/s320/abumaemd.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5704556795266447506" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fca9kwdifdE/TyqoSSUcKcI/AAAAAAAAAb8/ZZB_zU7bbXQ/s1600/abumaeme.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 314px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fca9kwdifdE/TyqoSSUcKcI/AAAAAAAAAb8/ZZB_zU7bbXQ/s320/abumaeme.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5704556910126836162" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Uy6OKbE5BeY/TyqohukS2_I/AAAAAAAAAcU/jSs18hVnKBg/s1600/abumaemb.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 229px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Uy6OKbE5BeY/TyqohukS2_I/AAAAAAAAAcU/jSs18hVnKBg/s320/abumaemb.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5704557175407565810" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dwwfESp12bM/TyqoZpNJspI/AAAAAAAAAcI/HJDtPdmTShU/s1600/abumaemf.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 276px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dwwfESp12bM/TyqoZpNJspI/AAAAAAAAAcI/HJDtPdmTShU/s320/abumaemf.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5704557036529365650" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SIiTb_yoTLE/TyqovxKiV5I/AAAAAAAAAcs/5BEtwLh9jak/s1600/abumaemc.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 234px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SIiTb_yoTLE/TyqovxKiV5I/AAAAAAAAAcs/5BEtwLh9jak/s320/abumaemc.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5704557416623003538" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DrwNVhJrxyo/TyqophlLRNI/AAAAAAAAAcg/40SfKeNYQDo/s1600/abumaemhi.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DrwNVhJrxyo/TyqophlLRNI/AAAAAAAAAcg/40SfKeNYQDo/s320/abumaemhi.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5704557309360555218" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--op-LHCHDLE/TyqpA7kaxWI/AAAAAAAAAdQ/U0xDS3951K8/s1600/abumaemj.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 234px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--op-LHCHDLE/TyqpA7kaxWI/AAAAAAAAAdQ/U0xDS3951K8/s320/abumaemj.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5704557711473689954" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QTo86wDuDHo/Tyqo7oWMzPI/AAAAAAAAAdE/-Y0xOBYMdn0/s1600/abumaemgg.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QTo86wDuDHo/Tyqo7oWMzPI/AAAAAAAAAdE/-Y0xOBYMdn0/s320/abumaemgg.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5704557620414434546" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-adbA7QJe7Q8/Tyqo1Vg1PtI/AAAAAAAAAc4/3CpoplvZPPg/s1600/abumaemg.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 278px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-adbA7QJe7Q8/Tyqo1Vg1PtI/AAAAAAAAAc4/3CpoplvZPPg/s320/abumaemg.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5704557512279539410" /></a>Jon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-67795622415586070562012-01-28T12:00:00.001-08:002012-01-28T12:10:35.740-08:00Homemade Traps<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Lx2My3CqwPs/TyRUOhG1b_I/AAAAAAAAAa0/5OmesRS2eag/s1600/drum%2Bset%2Ba.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Lx2My3CqwPs/TyRUOhG1b_I/AAAAAAAAAa0/5OmesRS2eag/s400/drum%2Bset%2Ba.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5702775636539830258" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>Homemade Traps</strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><em><strong>D</strong>ented-in pie plates<br />Both on the skids.<br />With little tin boxes<br />And trash can lids.<br />Tupperware bowls and buckets I’m pitchin’.<br />With all pots and pans that I find in the kitchen.</em><em><br />Two wooden spoons for sticks.</em> Said Lance.<br /><em>And the thing Mom uses to water the plants.</em><br /><em>There!</em> Said the lad to Grandpa Cruther.<br /><br />My drum-set is perfect<br />Just <em>don’t </em>tell my Mother!<br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>Sashee</em><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dHavwdH-Ajs/TyRUal55C-I/AAAAAAAAAbA/Kkdjfe8_Cwc/s1600/xdrums%2Bcf.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dHavwdH-Ajs/TyRUal55C-I/AAAAAAAAAbA/Kkdjfe8_Cwc/s320/xdrums%2Bcf.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5702775843986148322" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QN55OBHprJo/TyRUjJz7FXI/AAAAAAAAAbM/Aex94BetnXc/s1600/drum%2Bset.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QN55OBHprJo/TyRUjJz7FXI/AAAAAAAAAbM/Aex94BetnXc/s320/drum%2Bset.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5702775991063745906" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-eVsriMKMvzE/TyRUrcxL_CI/AAAAAAAAAbY/VX38PuCX5Ws/s1600/xdrumseet.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 282px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-eVsriMKMvzE/TyRUrcxL_CI/AAAAAAAAAbY/VX38PuCX5Ws/s320/xdrumseet.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5702776133591497762" /></a>Jon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-53605844127656417682012-01-22T23:18:00.000-08:002012-01-22T23:26:27.071-08:00Doofus the Bard<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GA8MXNNjdqQ/Tx0KDc_pzHI/AAAAAAAAAao/FlknVvVALTY/s1600/xwordse.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 268px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GA8MXNNjdqQ/Tx0KDc_pzHI/AAAAAAAAAao/FlknVvVALTY/s400/xwordse.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5700723757759974514" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>Doofus the Bard</strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>S</strong>aid Doofus the bard from Lafayette.<br />“The hand is poised and the quill is wet!<br />I think I’ll start a <em>seminal </em>caper!<br />As soon as I get my hands on some paper.”<br /><br />“The ideas are growin’<br />I’m now <em>to-and-froin’.</em><br />My pop tart was perfect<br />My juices are flowin’.<br />My villain will unfurl a <em>truculent </em>vapor!<br />As soon as I get my hands on some paper.”<br /><br />“Frustrations are showin’<br />A fit I’ve been throwin’.<br />My stomach’s in knots<br />I’m <em>woe-is-me woein’.</em><br />My brain’s outta gas<br />I’m gasping for breath.<br />My left hand is fried<br /><em>The quill bled to death!</em><br /><br />My novel just dove off a BIG SKY SCRAPER!<br /><br />Wait...<br /><br />I think I just found me some paper.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>Mr. Human Jon Box </em>SloneJon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-87047719271010072112012-01-20T20:55:00.001-08:002012-01-20T20:58:56.370-08:00Water Closet<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qIRMjpi9MZY/TxpFR5tmlbI/AAAAAAAAAaQ/rsKn4v2CT68/s1600/xwclo6.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 271px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qIRMjpi9MZY/TxpFR5tmlbI/AAAAAAAAAaQ/rsKn4v2CT68/s400/xwclo6.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5699944452242970034" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>Water-Closet</strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>I</strong> didn’t know whether I should hang up my coat.<br />Or get in the tub with my bubbles and boat. <br /><br />Or poop on the pumps.<br />Or pee on the seat.<br />Or knock off the dirt from a crusty-old cleat.<br /><br />Or try on some hats.<br />Or feel for the floss.<br />Or play with that thing that they use for lacrosse. <br /><br />Was I in the bathroom or one of the closets?<br /><em>A really good question when making deposits. </em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>Read-Share-Love </em>Slone<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ag1NSkoKb_Q/TxpFXZ29TII/AAAAAAAAAac/nrNzUuQIjBg/s1600/xwclo.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 294px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ag1NSkoKb_Q/TxpFXZ29TII/AAAAAAAAAac/nrNzUuQIjBg/s400/xwclo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5699944546771487874" /></a>Jon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-13227433221521623342012-01-08T20:38:00.001-08:002012-01-08T20:43:13.491-08:00Sam<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-T-x4rXYn5tA/Twpvd-X5N7I/AAAAAAAAAaE/PkJk2XhOxoE/s1600/xadwhyth.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 268px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-T-x4rXYn5tA/Twpvd-X5N7I/AAAAAAAAAaE/PkJk2XhOxoE/s400/xadwhyth.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5695487239513520050" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>Sam</strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>S</strong>am crouched in her prison of waiting and cried.<br />And the streaming of tears made a pool for the bride.<br /><br />And the box that contained her, it never consoled.<br />And her blanket of sorrow couldn’t fight off the cold.<br /><br />And a small speck of blue that bore out through the crag<br />Did little to reverse her from striking her flag.<br /><br />So there the girl slumped, in the chains that hope bought-her.<br />And the only thing left there to do was shed water.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>Beauty-from-ashes </em>SloneJon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-72879378389536449762011-12-20T17:10:00.000-08:002011-12-20T17:17:48.049-08:00Seat-Thief Simone<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GkoN5zgtx7I/TvEyTyyT9FI/AAAAAAAAAZs/XVXRMOsLkEQ/s1600/xseat%2B3.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 263px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GkoN5zgtx7I/TvEyTyyT9FI/AAAAAAAAAZs/XVXRMOsLkEQ/s400/xseat%2B3.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5688383119977346130" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>Seat-Thief Simone</strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>S</strong>he’ll say, <em>could you get me a cup of cold juice.<br />Or maybe just turn on the light for me Dad.</em><br />And when you get up to get lights and libations,<br />You’ll come back to find you’ve been <em>had!</em><br /><br />That worn-out dimple on your favorite old couch. <br />That sunken-in left-side spot on the bed.<br />She’ll pilfer your seat in a country-fried second<br />And make your bottom stand up instead! <br /> <br />She’ll hide like the dead on the floor by the bed.<br />And she’ll dirty up the wall with her feet for some reason.<br />And when you come back from rekindling the fire. <br />Your tot’s got your spot and you’re <em>freezin’</em>. <br /><br />That seat by the chimney with the red-checkered cushion.<br />That spot by the vent where the warmth coddles dread.<br />She’ll snatch up your <em>warmy </em>just as soon as you’ve parted.<br />And she won’t budge a skosh or a shred! <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>Mack-got-my-seat-again </em>Slone<br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fV5bezRh3a8/TvEygtLuq8I/AAAAAAAAAZ4/yK9qt7osLtE/s1600/xchair%2B3.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 242px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fV5bezRh3a8/TvEygtLuq8I/AAAAAAAAAZ4/yK9qt7osLtE/s320/xchair%2B3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5688383341811641282" /></a>Jon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-24180349315536219782011-12-20T13:26:00.000-08:002011-12-20T13:32:05.887-08:00Sixty-Forth Chapter<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_dNnrztd6z0/TvD9zdqk6KI/AAAAAAAAAZg/oaYNGWF55oU/s1600/xojyum.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 396px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_dNnrztd6z0/TvD9zdqk6KI/AAAAAAAAAZg/oaYNGWF55oU/s400/xojyum.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5688325389947300002" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>Sixty-forth chapter</strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>C</strong>an’t somebody see that orange juice is <em>yellow?</em><br />And why do rugs move and where’s my adaptor?<br />Life is just one big <em>super-huge </em>story<br />And I don’t come in ‘til the <em>sixty-forth </em>chapter. <br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>1970th Chapter </em>SloneJon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-40325720291492594152011-12-19T22:02:00.000-08:002011-12-19T22:12:56.192-08:00Sharing Size<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--HP8qxggAYU/TvAlTIJpWII/AAAAAAAAAZI/rVAtkVXmbhY/s1600/xsharesize.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 198px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--HP8qxggAYU/TvAlTIJpWII/AAAAAAAAAZI/rVAtkVXmbhY/s400/xsharesize.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5688087339904620674" /></a><br /><br /><br /><strong>Sharing Size </strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>S</strong>o I purchased a King-Size bag of M&M’s the other day (One of Mack’s favorites) and I noticed that it didn’t actually say, King Size on the package anymore. Nope, the replacement slogan reads, <em>Sharing Size.</em><br /><br /><em>Yeah, cause that’s what’s going on now….lots of sharing!</em><br /><br />As the obesity numbers in America have climbed to a staggering 66% (Men, women and children combined) it is glaringly apparent that we’ve been buying the <em>Sharing Size </em>to do just that!<br /><br />If that big bag of M&M’s is called the <em>Sharing Size,</em> what do they call that large drink at the movies?<br /><br />The, <em>Keel-over-and-die?</em><br />The, <em>Hey-I-can’t-feel-my-big-toes?</em><br />The, <em>Gain-Six-lose-six?</em> (Gain six pounds. Lose six dollars) <br />The, <em>I’m-gonna-share-this-with-everyone-in-the-audience-cause-I-like-drinking-after-complete-strangers </em>size?<br /><br /><em>Make no mistake about it.</em><br /><br /><em>Sharing Size </em>is on the package to not pelt the feelings of the corpulent customers as well as to peddle a lot more M&M product. <br /><br /><strong>Store Clerk:</strong> Hey Ronald, I see you’re buying six bags of the King Size M&M’s today. <br /><strong>Ronald:</strong> Actually they’re called <em>Sharing Size </em>now.<br /><strong>Store Clerk:</strong> <em>Right</em>. Plan on doing some <em>sharing </em>are we?<br /><strong>Ronald:</strong> Maybe.<br /><strong>Store Clerk:</strong> <em>Riiiggghhhttt</em>. <br /><strong>Ronald:</strong> Hey, it could happen!<br /><strong>Store Clerk:</strong> And I’m sure it will Ron, <em>I’m sure it will.</em><br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>don't eat the red ones </em>Slone<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iVmcqQY95VU/TvAlZz8FlUI/AAAAAAAAAZU/2qhqoAH9rcg/s1600/xssff.bmp"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iVmcqQY95VU/TvAlZz8FlUI/AAAAAAAAAZU/2qhqoAH9rcg/s200/xssff.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5688087454738126146" /></a>Jon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-19658272317030327172011-12-19T09:06:00.001-08:002011-12-19T11:40:31.507-08:00Felicia's Fix'er Elixir<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-eWNS76nrRzY/Tu9vPacM7NI/AAAAAAAAAY8/NAMocKmDWbU/s1600/xgmed.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 265px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-eWNS76nrRzY/Tu9vPacM7NI/AAAAAAAAAY8/NAMocKmDWbU/s400/xgmed.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687887164978556114" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>Felicia’s Fix’er Elixir</strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>R</strong>ight after bingo on Thursday I think.<br />Felicia made granny a medicinal drink.<br />A “Pick-Me-Up” cocktail<br />A “Get Well” spritzer.<br />A sort of a “Cure what ails ya” Elixir.<br />It had to have kick! (Even if she was brittle.)<br />Maybe hurt going down or just <em>cripple </em>a little.<br /><br />So off to the attic with a cast iron skillet.<br />She trotted with her fancies of how she would fill it.<br />She started with paint from an old crusty can.<br />Then some fuzzy fur growing on the blades of a fan.<br />She threw in some tinsel and shoe polish too.<br />With sacks of gun powder and a petrified shoe.<br /><br />She plopped in a Gumshoe and juice from a Pickle.<br />And tree sap stuck on an Indian-head nickel.<br />A plastic toy train.<br />Some fresh window pane.<br /><em>And a glob of wet hair from the bath tub drain!</em><br /><br />A pop-top lid that was steeped in red.<br />And something that the cat coughed up in her bed!<br /><br />She threw in some <em>Crumples </em>and Chocolate-plated Pushins.<br />And stuff that she found under all the couch cushions.<br /><br />Some cheap window cleaner.<br />Some Jam.<br />Some Jelly.<br />And that white stuff you drink for an upset belly!<br /><br /><br />Oh by the way, granny hated it! <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>writer's hut </em>SloneJon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-82023437974801396242011-12-18T18:56:00.000-08:002011-12-18T20:47:45.315-08:00Johann Debonair<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vzXZ8mTczK4/Tu6oM_Bz4LI/AAAAAAAAAYk/k6CIhhV91g0/s1600/xsolp.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 274px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vzXZ8mTczK4/Tu6oM_Bz4LI/AAAAAAAAAYk/k6CIhhV91g0/s400/xsolp.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687668320446439602" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>Johann Debonair</strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>W</strong>hen Johann Debonair said he loved you <em>so </em>much.<br />That <em>So </em>that he spoke was the biggest <em>So </em>ever! <br />For no one could stretch out a <em>So </em>like that <em>Joh</em>.<br />And his <em>So</em>-stretching <em>So</em>-ness stopped <em>So</em>-ing like <em>never</em>! <br /><br />His <em>So’s</em> indescribably loved you and dug you.<br />Then somehow his <em>So’s </em>became <em>arms </em>for to hug you!<br /><br />Those <em>So </em>hugs would shut eyes and force Gobs to show yawns.<br />And so forth and so on went those <em>So’s </em>of Johann’s. <br /><br />Just one single <em>So </em>would but <em>burgeon </em>one’s pelf.<br />And then prop up one’s hope upon life’s flimsy shelf. <br />And then make you not sure as-to-what <em>just </em>really happened.<br />Save the fact that you're craving some more <em>So </em>for yourself! <br /><br />People would try to like, pay for a <em>Joh So.</em><br /><em>Please Mr. Joh,</em> they would say, <em>could you go slow?</em><br />And then that there <em>So </em>would set in near a wee toe.<br />While Guido and Milo savored <em>So’s </em>by the kilo. <br /><br />And a <em>So </em>in the hand is worth two in the push.<br />And if push comes to shove,<br />Cup of Jo in the bush!<br /><br /><em>Yeah, I’m not really sure what the bush and the Jo…</em><br />Have to do with the <em>So</em>-gracious, <em>So</em>-giving <em>Joh</em>.<br />But just know that you’re lacking and your woe needs to feed.<br />And that Johann has <em>something </em>that you <em>probably </em>need. <br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>The-So-Supplier </em>Slone<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />If Johann had ever put out an album<br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nruZyLMuWSw/Tu6oTnfHYKI/AAAAAAAAAYw/Onv-rmq26m0/s1600/soxcvb.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nruZyLMuWSw/Tu6oTnfHYKI/AAAAAAAAAYw/Onv-rmq26m0/s320/soxcvb.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687668434385985698" /></a>Jon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-68135141783975039032011-12-15T16:10:00.001-08:002011-12-15T16:22:00.898-08:00Lemon Lime Quiche and Meatball Soda<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-V-v--HSngdY/TuqMpamErGI/AAAAAAAAAYY/JwswqQwHOiY/s1600/xhope.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 252px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-V-v--HSngdY/TuqMpamErGI/AAAAAAAAAYY/JwswqQwHOiY/s400/xhope.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5686512122650209378" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>Lemon Lime Quiche and Meatball Soda </strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>T</strong>here once was a horse named <em>Melancholy Mass.</em><br />And all day long he ate nothing but grass!<br />He chewed and he swallowed the same lookin’ stuff.<br />Blades and blades of Gribble Green Fluff.<br /><br />Brown ones and round ones<br />And lousy leaf <em>lean </em>ones.<br />And thin ones and thick ones<br />And really, really <em>green </em>ones!<br /><br />Blades for breakfast<br />And blades for lunch.<br />And more blades for supper<br />With <em>Gribble blade punch!</em><br /><br />Grass! Grass!<br />Nothin’ but GRASS! <br />I’m sick of this GRASS said Melancholy Mass! <br /><br />LEMON LIME QUICHE AND MEATBALL SODA! <br />Served in a diner in <em>South </em>North Dakota.<br />Thought Melancholy Mass<br />Now <em>that </em>sounds yummy! <br />With Fresh Potato Cakes and some honey in my tummy!<br /><br />And a BuffyBacon Burger and a Carrot Cake too!<br />And some Deep-Fried Chocolate with Funnel Cake Stew!<br />Now <em>that </em>would be scrumptious with Soda in my glass. <br />Eatin’ LEMON LIME QUICHE <br />Instead of <em>Brown </em>Grass!<br /><br />A Fish and Chips platter<br />Some Tangerine Cheese.<br />A Grapefruit Spritzer<br />A Peanut Butter Freeze.<br />Some White Chicken Chili<br />And Pumpkin MapleMoss.<br />With Bubblegum Omelets<br />In Worcestershire sauce!<br /><br />How tasty that sounds <br />Yum YumpleDum Stuff! <br />Yet here I sit stuck<br />Eatin’ <em>Gribble Green Fluff!</em><br /><br />Of course,<br />If you drive down Interstate 5.<br />And look for the house of Cucumber Clive. <br />Right to your left through <em>FoggyDog Pass.</em> <br />You might see a horse that stopped eatin’ Grass.<br /><br />And if’in you see him<br />Stop in and say <em>hi.</em> <br />And bring me some Brisket and Sloppy Joe Pie!<br /><br />Of course if you’re ever in <em>South </em>North Dakota.<br />Then LEMON LIME QUICHE AND MEATBALL SODA! <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>Secretariat </em>SloneJon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-38796856829412412352011-12-14T16:36:00.001-08:002011-12-14T16:39:49.888-08:00The Escape Hatch<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TRiuIi65x-0/TulBNzojiRI/AAAAAAAAAYM/9_wJJX_yIAg/s1600/hut.bmp"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 275px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TRiuIi65x-0/TulBNzojiRI/AAAAAAAAAYM/9_wJJX_yIAg/s400/hut.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5686147709986375954" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>The Escape Hatch</strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>I</strong>ts here I think thoughts<br />About Becks and of Birds.<br />And I bully some words<br />Cause I push them for fun. <br /><br />Ideas are like bubbles that you blow from a bottle.<br />And I want one so bad to repair and remodel.<br />But those sly little orbs, they alight on green stubble.<br />And what can you do with a pool of broke bubble?<br /><br />Ensconced in this glen.<br />With a belly of chagrin.<br />The ink in my pen<br />Weaves a magical pun.<br /><br />And maybe my quill<br />Is the one at the wheel.<br />And I’m just the guest riddin’ shotgun? <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Jon <em>outside-the-box </em>SloneJon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5190494644279975357.post-5712648100187453482011-12-14T14:14:00.000-08:002011-12-19T11:41:44.256-08:0041 Words<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cXrm56e68Ow/TukgkUNhB7I/AAAAAAAAAX0/_xOd6i7NWm0/s1600/zsixmillion.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 331px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cXrm56e68Ow/TukgkUNhB7I/AAAAAAAAAX0/_xOd6i7NWm0/s400/zsixmillion.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5686111812804741042" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>41 words </strong><br /><em>By Jon Slone</em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>T</strong>hese forty-one words are probably the reason why I love words today. As God would have it, the first time I heard the word, <em>technology</em>, I was bitten for life, though at six, I probably wasn’t aware of the vicious <em>word bug </em>what leaves brobdingnagian nibble-marks. Nevertheless, <em>technology </em>did it to me. <br /><br /><br />Enjoy this sonnet of 41 words:<br /><br /><br /><strong>41 WORDS</strong><br /><br /><strong>S</strong>teve Austin, astronaut, a man barely alive.<br />Gentlemen, we <em>can </em>rebuild him. <em>We have the technology!</em><br />We have the capabilities to make the world’s first Bionic Man. <br />Steve Austin will <em>be </em>that man.<br />Better than he was before.<br /><em>Better, stronger, faster!</em><br /><br /><br />41 words for a 41 year old.<br /><br />If you ever wanted to know who to blame for my sesquipedalian behavior, look no further than the intro to <em>The Six Million Dollar Man </em>T.V. show.<br /><br /><br />Jon <em>Better-Stronger-Faster </em>Slone<br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MqLhDxgqLPU/Tukg24CnuPI/AAAAAAAAAYA/4VP14HsB9MA/s1600/zxllpoa.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 239px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MqLhDxgqLPU/Tukg24CnuPI/AAAAAAAAAYA/4VP14HsB9MA/s320/zxllpoa.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5686112131660364018" /></a>Jon Slonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15291083287669135690noreply@blogger.com1