Blackmail?

Blackmail?
By Jon Slone






My Mom and my Dad
They lecture
I sit.

But the stuff they emit
Why I just don’t get!

I asked for a puppy
Then I started to beg.

But Mom said the dog would cost an arm and a leg?

I like my limbs
And no way for a pup.
Would I ever think
About giving them up!

My parents they tell me to not lose my head?
Then ask if I got up on the wrong side of bed?

I’LL NEVER AMOUNT
TO A HILL OF BEANS!

My Dad always says
Whatever that means.

Caught red handed?
Down to the wire?

LIAR LIAR
PANTS ON FIRE?

My Mom always says
She’ll pull a few strings?

But I could care less
If she tugged on such things.

CAN I BE FRANK?
My Dad will exclaim.

But why at 40 would he change his name?

Mom quit smoking COLD TURKEY she huffed!
But I never knew she was smoking the stuff?

FLYING COLORS?
SCARED TO DEATH?

ELBOW GREASE?
SAVE YOUR BREATH?

How is a pen,
Mightier than a sword?

And what in the world
Is a Handsome Reward?

What is a Dreamboat?
Explain CLOSE SHAVES?

And does Grave Danger only happen at graves?

HE’S A PISTOL?
SHE’S A PILL?

HOLD THE FORT
And FIRE AT WILL?

I HATE YOUR GUTS!
Some say on a whim.

But what have my guts ever done to them?

TOP OF THE MORNING?
JERKIN’ MY CHAIN?

PAINT THE TOWN?
RAISING CAIN?

YELLOW BELLY?
HIGH AND DRY?

CROSS MY HEART AND HOPE TO DIE?

Oh how my folks
Are crazy I feel.

For they don’t make sense
And I fear never will!




Jon hay-hitter Slone