Chicago's the greatest

Chicago's the greatest

Monday, March 28, 2011

Riggleberry Bloke And Other Silly Whatknots!

Riggleberry Bloke is a book that I wrote and illustrated. It took me 15 years to pen it and 10 more to get it published. I'll let the description of this here, tasty tome do the rest.

Riggleberry Bloke is a book for extremely young kids (ages 3 months old and up) as well as really Cob-webby and obsolete children (ages 67 up through Dracula years). And then everyone in between!
It’s a book teeming with consternated dogs, mustachioed women and a 3-day-old piece of toilet paper! Upon completion of this delectable tome, one stands to be well versed in the erudition of many other chief subjects, such as, but not limited to; maggots, cat throw-up, cyclops’, 8-track players and Death Star Space Station boxes!

One caveat, Some of the tattle-tales are terribly tall, some of the words are brobdingnagian, and some of the bed bugs do lacerate! That notwithstanding, this compendium of cantankerous claptrap is most assuredly more agreeable than eating all your vegetables or getting inoculated for no good reason! Its promethean gimcrackery meets the deep-end of the Drink! And its moniker is Riggleberry Bloke!

The book is 122 pages long and is comprised of 55 short and long poems. Some are, Pacific Oceans while other are merely, Puddles.

Here is one such Puddle:

Stormie Mol Bean

I know this girl
Named Stormie Mol Bean.

And she is the weirdest kid I’ve ever seen!

She flips her pillows
To cool her head.

And sleeps not on top
But under her bed!

The toys that she likes
The very, very best!

She puts them away
And plays with the rest.

She likes to tan
From a moving van.

And talks to her friends
But only through a fan.

She reads in the dark in her Mom’s frying pan.

And likes to drink soda pop hot from the can.

Chocolate chip cookies
She puts to her lips.

After she picks off the chocolate chips.

Her cats are named Hershal
And Piskers and Jim.

And twice every month
She gives them a trim.

She starts with Hershal
Then Jim
Then Piskers.

She clips all their claws
And she cuts off their whiskers!

What kinda girl
Has poor cats sheared?

I’m telling you now
This Stormie is weird!

Her room’s never dirty
And she doesn’t complain.

She eats orange peelings
And likes to drink rain.

She rides with her clothes
In the washing machine.

For this is the way
She likes to get clean.

Weird, weird, weird
Is that Stormie Mol Bean!

She sits at the T.V.
With Jim and Hershal.

And watches it only
When there’s a commercial.

She likes to leap
From her two-story deck.

With a bright red shower curtain tied around her neck.

She crashes every time
On the neighbor’s front lawn.

If Stormie has a brain
I don’t think it’s on!

She burps all the time
Each stronger in force.

Whenever she laughs
She sounds like a horse.

People like Stormie
I wouldn’t endorse.

And this is because
She’s weird, of course!

This Stormie Mol Bean,
Not to be mean,

Is surely the weirdest girl I’ve ever seen!

If she fell off the planet
There’s no way I’d miss her!

Well maybe a little
Seeing how she’s my sister.

With regards to the life of this lowly book, please pray for it to do all that God wants for it to. Pray for me and for Stormie and for the boy that got too close to it's pages!

Shout out to all my Rabbit Room Buds...this one is for you Buck!

Peace & a Pretzel!

1 comment:

  1. Jon,
    I have some thoughts on your book portion I'd like to share via e-mail. Shoot me a message.
    Dan Kulp
    dkulp2003 AT yahoo DOT com