Tuesday, December 6, 2011
facebook f's and cereal-box-backness
facebook f’s and cereal-box-backness
By Jon Slone
So I’m eating my sour cream and onion chips the other day
when I noticed an f on the back of my bag.
Nervously, I went in for a closer look.
It was a facebook f.
Shut your gob you say?
No for real!
facebook had crept up on my afternoon snack.
This got me thinking. And the more I thought the more gobsmacked I found myself.
Jeez, I reflected inwardly, what did my bag of sour cream and onion chips want from me?
Was I supposed to send it a friend request?
Did my spuds really wanna be buds?
Was proper protocol for me to have written on Mr. S. Cream’s wall, pontificating how much I adored the taste of their flakey-green construction. Or should I have seen the post, “Now 20% more!” and, “Guaranteed Fresh!” And then promptly clicked the like button?
Shoot fire, I thought. What was I to do?
Should I have meandered through all of the delectable pictures?
Do chips take good pictures?
Are chips photogenic?
I know the ones with the most sour cream and green specks are the popular ones.
Then that got me thinking….do the popular ones have their own pages? If so, would I find them as a link in the family column at the bottom-left side of the fb screen?
What if their picture wasn’t posted and instead it was that nondescript blue and white outline guy that you always see.
At that point I would have to go purely by potato chip monikers!
Maybe they just want me to announce to the whole world that I love sour cream and onion potato chips.
I could do that you know.
I do indeed love them so!
I could eat them with some water.
I could eat them with an Otter.
Greasy good and creamy sour!
The salty hour!
Mangle-munch ‘til nothin’s leff!
I just don’t know what to do with the F!
(Creative liberties taken with the leff of course)
You remember how when we were kids, we would stare at the back of the cereal box while we ate the cereal? Sometimes if there were three boxes of cereal out on the table, we would form like a, half-octagon of cereal-box-backness?
It’s a good thing I don’t like to do that with my chips.
Jon Friend-me Slone