Chicago's the greatest

Chicago's the greatest

Monday, December 19, 2011

Sharing Size

Sharing Size
By Jon Slone

So I purchased a King-Size bag of M&M’s the other day (One of Mack’s favorites) and I noticed that it didn’t actually say, King Size on the package anymore. Nope, the replacement slogan reads, Sharing Size.

Yeah, cause that’s what’s going on now….lots of sharing!

As the obesity numbers in America have climbed to a staggering 66% (Men, women and children combined) it is glaringly apparent that we’ve been buying the Sharing Size to do just that!

If that big bag of M&M’s is called the Sharing Size, what do they call that large drink at the movies?

The, Keel-over-and-die?
The, Hey-I-can’t-feel-my-big-toes?
The, Gain-Six-lose-six? (Gain six pounds. Lose six dollars)
The, I’m-gonna-share-this-with-everyone-in-the-audience-cause-I-like-drinking-after-complete-strangers size?

Make no mistake about it.

Sharing Size is on the package to not pelt the feelings of the corpulent customers as well as to peddle a lot more M&M product.

Store Clerk: Hey Ronald, I see you’re buying six bags of the King Size M&M’s today.
Ronald: Actually they’re called Sharing Size now.
Store Clerk: Right. Plan on doing some sharing are we?
Ronald: Maybe.
Store Clerk: Riiiggghhhttt.
Ronald: Hey, it could happen!
Store Clerk: And I’m sure it will Ron, I’m sure it will.

Jon don't eat the red ones Slone


  1. Love this one Jon!! P.S. And soooo true!!

  2. I really like this one and I have to agree with is so true...people makes all sorts of excuses for trying to overeat without guilt and the candy and snack manufacturers know all of our tricks and how to get around them...buying a giant bag for sharing is not so bad as buying a giant bag to eat all by yourself so the sharing on the bag negates some of the angst....well done